Realizations of a not-so-fresh BMMite - Shenna Albert

When I walked into Wilson College on the 1st of July, 2010 (around 10am I guess), I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I didn’t know I’d be redefining myself and trying to reach up to and beyond certain limits I’d set for myself.

Back then, all I knew was that I wanted to do something which would provoke me to reach to my best and a major part of the decision I took then, was to save myself from entering boring laboratories and fiddling around with strange liquids to get some result, to save myself from books weighing half my weight and the anxiety bursts, from calculators and confusing intertwined numericals. Well, I’m happy I’ve successfully warded off those evils!

But now, when I look back at the last six months of my life, I can’t help but ask myself ‘Was this all?’ Certainly not! I learnt and did things I didn’t know I would or perhaps I could at some point in life, or maybe I never gave it a thought.

Back in the summer holidays I never thought the crazy videos I was learning to make as an amateur on movie maker would ever fetch me marks and that too decent ones!

The chapter of Dance was closed long back in time until this August when my friend (Prajakta) urged me to go audition. I can’t say I am amazing at all of this but yes I can see the change, I can see myself excelling.

During our first ECS lecture, when Maam spoke about a blog and writing and how it could change your life, I did take something back home with me, though I never thought writing could change my life. No offence Maam, no flaws in your teaching, flaws lie in my writing! So, with the little something that I took back, I decided to create a blog of my own. As I decided, I did end up making one and I did post some of my not-so-great articles and eventually stopped. No likes, no comments, no motivation killed that little excitement that was created as I posted those articles.

I know what you’re thinking just now; everything one does, can’t always be complimented or appreciated. True! I just figured out a flaw in myself, while writing this. So I decided to try and keep posting, not just for appreciation, or lunch with Maam but to see myself grow.

I might not make it big here, but at least I can appreciate myself for trying. I think all of us should. Our teachers keep saying that a lot of us have it in us but do not try, out of fear and rejection. I see and sense great energy in our FY class, which is seen during various presentations, festivals, trips. These words coming from me are surprising to myself, let alone you!

On a serious note, now when I sit and contemplate on SSR’s words ‘Are you merely floating through the course?’ I realize the answer is no. I have learnt, I am learning and this process would go on until the end (NOT of this course). I tried my hand at painting, mingling with people who are totally different from me as well as a replica of me, drawing, video making, dancing, acting, presenting (phew!), modeling and here I finally try writing.

I’m not superb in most of these, may be also all of these; but nevertheless I tried and wow this actually got me to write an article that is Funny? Inspiring? Boring? All? None? Any which ways, I could blow your top if I’d go any further! So then, This Is It. The last six months have had a small impact on my life. Small for now, the effect gets stronger with time I guess (figured by reading what my seniors write).





P.S. This has still not motivated me enough to raise my hand in class for a debate or to question SSR. But like I said, as the effect gets stronger, the boundaries I set for myself keep extending further ;) (Excuse me for the smiley, I’m not sure it’s allowed but some statements are just incomplete without them)

-SHENNA ALBERT, FYBMM.